Thursday, October 21, 2010

10 things hunters should never camouflage


So you're tromping through the woods on your way from or to your truck. You reach for your wallet. Why? Who knows? Maybe your keys are in your wallet. Maybe you need a stick of gum from your wallet. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are taking out your camouflage wallet in the woods. Oops! There you go dropping your wallet. You've lost it! And everything else that was in your wallet. Bet you're wishing now it wasn't camouflaged, right?


Yes, we all know camouflage shotguns and rifles are hip. If they're not, then why does everybody and their brother seem to have one or want one? But imagine you are up in your deer stand and you set your longarm down or lean it against the tree while you're putting in a chew of tobacco. Agh! There goes your gun slipping off the edge of the deer stand! Now you climb down to retrieve your weapon and, guess what? You can't find it. Why? Because it blends in so well with the surroundings.

Chewing tobacco

Some brands of chewing tobacco come in a camouflage bag, or sometimes the chewer will have a special bag that's camouflage. Now what's worse than being miles away from a vehicle, out in the middle of nowhere, and losing your tobacco? Not much. Maybe getting shot in the leg. Keep your chew in a regular old bag. Probably the packaging it came in is best so you don't have to worry about losing your own personal special bag.


You don't want a camouflaged hat for one very important reason. You might get your head blown off by another hunter! Hunter orange, blaze orange, safety orange ... whatever you want to call it ... is what you should be wearing on your head if you want to keep it. Remember, safety first when it comes to hunting. Heck, safety first when it comes to any and all firearms use.


You've been out in the woods since four in the morning. You didn't even get a dang buck. Now it's late in the day and you're tired and want to go home. Where did you leave your truck? You thought it was over there, right? But now you can't find it. Why? Because you were an idiot and had your truck painted camouflage. Youwould be able to see it if you'd kept it a normal color, but now you get to have extra fun walking up and down the road looking for your vehicle.

Cell phone

You might need your cell phone in case of an emergency, so the last thing you should do is have it camouflaged. What if you are out in the woods and become injured? Or worse, wounded? Boy, that cell phone would come in handy. But you just dropped it and it's camouflaged, so you can't see it now. Good luck limping back to the truck and waving down another driver.


You should be able to look down and see your feet clearly while in the woods. Why? Safety. You should be able to see where you are walking at all times. Yes, you can look ahead to where you are about to step, but camouflaged footware doesn't help. It hinders. Just watching out for you. Don't come crying to me when you break your ankle.


If you get lost, or if you become injured, and are in the forest for a long period of time, water can become the difference between life and death. If you drop or lose your camouflaged canteen or water bottle, you might have trouble finding it again. You don't want that to happen if you are desperately in need of water.


Why make it harder to find an item you might really, really need? Sure, a camouflage flashlight in the middle of the night doesn't make much of a difference. But if you lost or misplaced your flashlight during the day, you want to be able to find it. Why? Uh, because when the night rolls around, you're going to need it.


A knife is one of the most important tools to have. Even a basic knife can cut, be used as a screwdriver and perform all kinds of other tasks ... many you won't even realize until they come up. So don't camouflage your knife. If you drop it, it'll be tough to find. And you never know when a good knife, even just a pocket knife, might come in important.

Related links
10 unusual firearms
10 unusual revolvers
10 bear safety tips

Thursday, October 7, 2010

10 signs you should dump your boyfriend

You catch him in bed with your sister
Or maybe it's your mother or your aunt or your uncle or your nephew or your best friend's third cousin from out of town. Anytime you catch your boyfriend in bed with anyone that's not you, that's a pretty good sign you should dump him right then and there, no questions asked.

He uses your credit card without asking
And lifts cash from your purse or wallet without asking. That is a sign. And no, it's not a little sign, nor even a simple street sign. It's a great big, horns blaring, lights flashing, train rolling, clowns doing tricks sign that you need to drop your boyfriend at the nearest corner. Or off the nearest bridge.

He's on the run from the law
Yes, you love him. But is it really worth putting up with all the garbage that goes along with him being on the run? The having to put all the bills in your name? The having to move every few months? The having to pay for everything with cash? You know, fun stuff like that? You still want him? Then he's all yours, and you'll face time behind bars, too, for harboring a fugitive. Good luck with that.

He's on the run from the mob
Okay, facing a jail sentence is one thing, but facing a bullet between the eyes is altogether something else. Sister, drop this loser. He's not only going to bring you down, but he's going to bring you down to the mortuary. For good.

He keeps looking at other women
Maybe you're not the jealous type and don't mind your guy checking out other chicks. But looking can lead to talking, and talking can lead to phone calls, and phone calls can lead to meeting, and that can lead to a whole lot more. Babe, correct this behavior in your man or don't come crying to me when you catch him in bed with your sister.

He keeps looking at other men
And not in a competitive, he-man sort of way. You know what I mean. He also knows the brand names of your shoes and your purse. And he likely knows the names of your perfume and eyeliner. Men generally don't know that kind of stuff. Your man, honey, is not for you. Or any other woman. Even if he won't admit it to himself.Especially if he won't admit it to himself. Have a talk with him, get him some professional help is need be, but it's over. If not now, 10 years from now when you catch him winking at the paper boy or somebody.

He disappears for long periods of time
How long? Maybe it's just a few hours here and there. Or maybe it's for a few days at a time. Whatever it is, if he can't come up with a realistic reason, with actual proof, of where he's been and what he's been doing, then you need to dump him flat. He's doing something he shouldn't be doing. It's either something illegal or something you won't approve of. Either way, drop him like a bowling ball from a helicopter.

He's drunk more than he's sober
Or maybe he's high more than he's not. That's a bad sign. No, he might not be cheating on you, but it still means he loves something else a whole heck of a lot more than he loves you. And it's only going to lead to trouble down the road. Sure, maybe now he's only drinking a case of beer a day, but in a year it might be a keg a day. That's expensive. And it brings trouble. Trouble you don't need. Dump. Him. Flat.

He works all the time but never has any money
Something's up. It might be another woman. It might be a drug habit. Or maybe he's playing the ponies too much. Whatever it happens to be, it's something that's costing a bunch of cash. Which means he's not good with money and/or has no control over how he spends money. Yes, you could be the big woman and step in and try to take charge, but that's not going to work. Somehow, some way, he's going to keep on doing whatever it is he's doing that's eating up the cash.

He spends all his time writing online
Is he really writing all the time? Or is he peeking at porn all the time? Or hooking up with someone else online? You don't know! These men are crazy these days. He could be doing anything online all the time. Heck, you hear about those people who get addicted to the Internet. It's just like a drug addiction. You need to dump this loser, and fast.

More links with attitude
10 drivers who increase my road rage
10 people at the grocery store who make me hate
Why is it phone books suck so much nowadays?

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Yes, you can make a living as a fiction author

The other day I was reading a blog about fiction writing and authors. The blogger was bemoaning the fact that it's tough for fiction writers to find a paying market today. There are fewer and fewer paying magazines and online e-zines that pay anything. The economy and current changes in technology are forcing book publishers, and even literary agents, to pass on many books and authors.

I say all that is hogwash.

It's the best time ever to be a fiction writer.

What makes me say this? Several factors.

For one, that changing technology I mentioned above is mainly the recent arrival of easy digital publishing. Anyone, even a writer who has never been professionally published, can now upload their files onto Amazon at its DTP service and at Barnes and Noble's Pubit service, which makes those books available for sale to the general e-book reading public.

Also, there are several content publishing websites such as Triond where one can self publish their fiction.

Yes, yes, we all know the stories about how awful self-published stories and books are. But that's changing. Sure, there is still plenty of drek out there, but more and more self-published authors are hiring professional editors to edit their work, and some are hiring professional artists and designers to do the covers for their books and e-books. The self-publishing world is changing, too, and many self-published books are better than they would have been just a few years ago, despite the stigma that sometimes goes along with self-published books.

Best yet, these self-published authors can actually make money through their digital e-books. Can one make a living at it? Yes. But there are four things a self-published author must have to succeed:


As mentioned above, a self-published author must have quality material. They must learn their craft and know it well. For some this is easy. For others, it might takes years of study and writing and reading before they are ready to publish. Most professionals attend college for several years and/or have an apprenticeship period that can last as long as a couple of years, so why shouldn't writers also give themselves at least that much time to become good at their craft? Also, it helps to know how to editor your own work and how to design book covers, though you can hire out that work or ask accomplished acquaintances to help in this regard. Remember, you want your material to be professional, because that will bring more readers and bring back readers.


Some writers are bored with marketing. Others absolutely hate it. But if you want to make a living as a writer, it's something you're going to have to do. What's the secret? There really isn't one. Different tactics work for different writers. Some writers find success with blogging, others use social networking, some by advertisements or post on others' blogs. There are tons of different ways to market yourself and your writing, many of them for little or no cost. Just keep in mind that marketing is important because you need to get your name and your books' names out there to potential readers, but always keep in mind you don't want to antagonize possible customers by spamming and being annoying online.


For many writers, this is the hardest part. The waiting. In the old, pre-digital, days, writers had to have oodles of patience. Sometimes they'd have to wait months or years just to hear back from a publisher or literary agent. Today, if you decide to go the traditional print publishing route, you still have to face all that waiting. But there is another option, and that's digitally self publishing your work. Still, you have to have patience. Once you've written your book, edited it and uploaded to online sites, and done tons of marketing, you still have to wait. Readers aren't going to just come rolling in by the hundreds. It takes time. You're going to have to keep marketing, blogging, writing more, doing whatever it takes each and every day to make sure potential readers know about your work. And guess what, eventually people will start to notice. It might take a few months, maybe even a year or so, but if you have quality material, readers will eventually take note and your sales will start coming through.


Yes, you want quality. That's most important, and it should come first. But you also want quantity. What does this mean? Basically, the more books or short stories you have online making money for you, the better chance you have of being able to make a living as a fiction author. How many e-books will it take for you to making a living writing? Who knows? It all depends upon how large an audience will come flocking to read your books. For some lucky authors, one or two books will bring in enough readers and money, but for most authors it's going to take several books. So, again, remember to be patient and to keep working at it.

Related links
New for epic fantasy fans, The Kobalos Trilogy
There's nothing wrong with writing for money
Logical Misanthropy, horror and fantasy author's blog