10 things hunters should never camouflage

Wallet

So you're tromping through the woods on your way from or to your truck. You reach for your wallet. Why? Who knows? Maybe your keys are in your wallet. Maybe you need a stick of gum from your wallet. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are taking out your camouflage wallet in the woods. Oops! There you go dropping your wallet. You've lost it! And everything else that was in your wallet. Bet you're wishing now it wasn't camouflaged, right?

Gun

Yes, we all know camouflage shotguns and rifles are hip. If they're not, then why does everybody and their brother seem to have one or want one? But imagine you are up in your deer stand and you set your longarm down or lean it against the tree while you're putting in a chew of tobacco. Agh! There goes your gun slipping off the edge of the deer stand! Now you climb down to retrieve your weapon and, guess what? You can't find it. Why? Because it blends in so well with the surroundings.

Chewing tobacco

Some brands of chewing tobacco come in a camouflage bag, or sometimes the chewer will have a special bag that's camouflage. Now what's worse than being miles away from a vehicle, out in the middle of nowhere, and losing your tobacco? Not much. Maybe getting shot in the leg. Keep your chew in a regular old bag. Probably the packaging it came in is best so you don't have to worry about losing your own personal special bag.

Hat

You don't want a camouflaged hat for one very important reason. You might get your head blown off by another hunter! Hunter orange, blaze orange, safety orange ... whatever you want to call it ... is what you should be wearing on your head if you want to keep it. Remember, safety first when it comes to hunting. Heck, safety first when it comes to any and all firearms use.

Vehicle

You've been out in the woods since four in the morning. You didn't even get a dang buck. Now it's late in the day and you're tired and want to go home. Where did you leave your truck? You thought it was over there, right? But now you can't find it. Why? Because you were an idiot and had your truck painted camouflage. Youwould be able to see it if you'd kept it a normal color, but now you get to have extra fun walking up and down the road looking for your vehicle.

Cell phone

You might need your cell phone in case of an emergency, so the last thing you should do is have it camouflaged. What if you are out in the woods and become injured? Or worse, wounded? Boy, that cell phone would come in handy. But you just dropped it and it's camouflaged, so you can't see it now. Good luck limping back to the truck and waving down another driver.

Shoes

You should be able to look down and see your feet clearly while in the woods. Why? Safety. You should be able to see where you are walking at all times. Yes, you can look ahead to where you are about to step, but camouflaged footware doesn't help. It hinders. Just watching out for you. Don't come crying to me when you break your ankle.

Canteen

If you get lost, or if you become injured, and are in the forest for a long period of time, water can become the difference between life and death. If you drop or lose your camouflaged canteen or water bottle, you might have trouble finding it again. You don't want that to happen if you are desperately in need of water.

Flashlight

Why make it harder to find an item you might really, really need? Sure, a camouflage flashlight in the middle of the night doesn't make much of a difference. But if you lost or misplaced your flashlight during the day, you want to be able to find it. Why? Uh, because when the night rolls around, you're going to need it.

Knife

A knife is one of the most important tools to have. Even a basic knife can cut, be used as a screwdriver and perform all kinds of other tasks ... many you won't even realize until they come up. So don't camouflage your knife. If you drop it, it'll be tough to find. And you never know when a good knife, even just a pocket knife, might come in important.

Related links
10 unusual firearms
10 unusual revolvers
10 bear safety tips

10 signs you should dump your boyfriend

You catch him in bed with your sister
Or maybe it's your mother or your aunt or your uncle or your nephew or your best friend's third cousin from out of town. Anytime you catch your boyfriend in bed with anyone that's not you, that's a pretty good sign you should dump him right then and there, no questions asked.

He uses your credit card without asking
And lifts cash from your purse or wallet without asking. That is a sign. And no, it's not a little sign, nor even a simple street sign. It's a great big, horns blaring, lights flashing, train rolling, clowns doing tricks sign that you need to drop your boyfriend at the nearest corner. Or off the nearest bridge.

He's on the run from the law
Yes, you love him. But is it really worth putting up with all the garbage that goes along with him being on the run? The having to put all the bills in your name? The having to move every few months? The having to pay for everything with cash? You know, fun stuff like that? You still want him? Then he's all yours, and you'll face time behind bars, too, for harboring a fugitive. Good luck with that.

He's on the run from the mob
Okay, facing a jail sentence is one thing, but facing a bullet between the eyes is altogether something else. Sister, drop this loser. He's not only going to bring you down, but he's going to bring you down to the mortuary. For good.

He keeps looking at other women
Maybe you're not the jealous type and don't mind your guy checking out other chicks. But looking can lead to talking, and talking can lead to phone calls, and phone calls can lead to meeting, and that can lead to a whole lot more. Babe, correct this behavior in your man or don't come crying to me when you catch him in bed with your sister.

He keeps looking at other men
And not in a competitive, he-man sort of way. You know what I mean. He also knows the brand names of your shoes and your purse. And he likely knows the names of your perfume and eyeliner. Men generally don't know that kind of stuff. Your man, honey, is not for you. Or any other woman. Even if he won't admit it to himself.Especially if he won't admit it to himself. Have a talk with him, get him some professional help is need be, but it's over. If not now, 10 years from now when you catch him winking at the paper boy or somebody.

He disappears for long periods of time
How long? Maybe it's just a few hours here and there. Or maybe it's for a few days at a time. Whatever it is, if he can't come up with a realistic reason, with actual proof, of where he's been and what he's been doing, then you need to dump him flat. He's doing something he shouldn't be doing. It's either something illegal or something you won't approve of. Either way, drop him like a bowling ball from a helicopter.

He's drunk more than he's sober
Or maybe he's high more than he's not. That's a bad sign. No, he might not be cheating on you, but it still means he loves something else a whole heck of a lot more than he loves you. And it's only going to lead to trouble down the road. Sure, maybe now he's only drinking a case of beer a day, but in a year it might be a keg a day. That's expensive. And it brings trouble. Trouble you don't need. Dump. Him. Flat.

He works all the time but never has any money
Something's up. It might be another woman. It might be a drug habit. Or maybe he's playing the ponies too much. Whatever it happens to be, it's something that's costing a bunch of cash. Which means he's not good with money and/or has no control over how he spends money. Yes, you could be the big woman and step in and try to take charge, but that's not going to work. Somehow, some way, he's going to keep on doing whatever it is he's doing that's eating up the cash.

He spends all his time writing online
Is he really writing all the time? Or is he peeking at porn all the time? Or hooking up with someone else online? You don't know! These men are crazy these days. He could be doing anything online all the time. Heck, you hear about those people who get addicted to the Internet. It's just like a drug addiction. You need to dump this loser, and fast.

More links with attitude
10 drivers who increase my road rage
10 people at the grocery store who make me hate
Why is it phone books suck so much nowadays?

Yes, you can make a living as a fiction author

The other day I was reading a blog about fiction writing and authors. The blogger was bemoaning the fact that it's tough for fiction writers to find a paying market today. There are fewer and fewer paying magazines and online e-zines that pay anything. The economy and current changes in technology are forcing book publishers, and even literary agents, to pass on many books and authors.

I say all that is hogwash.

It's the best time ever to be a fiction writer.

What makes me say this? Several factors.

For one, that changing technology I mentioned above is mainly the recent arrival of easy digital publishing. Anyone, even a writer who has never been professionally published, can now upload their files onto Amazon at its DTP service and at Barnes and Noble's Pubit service, which makes those books available for sale to the general e-book reading public.

Also, there are several content publishing websites such as Triond where one can self publish their fiction.

Yes, yes, we all know the stories about how awful self-published stories and books are. But that's changing. Sure, there is still plenty of drek out there, but more and more self-published authors are hiring professional editors to edit their work, and some are hiring professional artists and designers to do the covers for their books and e-books. The self-publishing world is changing, too, and many self-published books are better than they would have been just a few years ago, despite the stigma that sometimes goes along with self-published books.

Best yet, these self-published authors can actually make money through their digital e-books. Can one make a living at it? Yes. But there are four things a self-published author must have to succeed:

Quality

As mentioned above, a self-published author must have quality material. They must learn their craft and know it well. For some this is easy. For others, it might takes years of study and writing and reading before they are ready to publish. Most professionals attend college for several years and/or have an apprenticeship period that can last as long as a couple of years, so why shouldn't writers also give themselves at least that much time to become good at their craft? Also, it helps to know how to editor your own work and how to design book covers, though you can hire out that work or ask accomplished acquaintances to help in this regard. Remember, you want your material to be professional, because that will bring more readers and bring back readers.

Marketing

Some writers are bored with marketing. Others absolutely hate it. But if you want to make a living as a writer, it's something you're going to have to do. What's the secret? There really isn't one. Different tactics work for different writers. Some writers find success with blogging, others use social networking, some by advertisements or post on others' blogs. There are tons of different ways to market yourself and your writing, many of them for little or no cost. Just keep in mind that marketing is important because you need to get your name and your books' names out there to potential readers, but always keep in mind you don't want to antagonize possible customers by spamming and being annoying online.

Patience

For many writers, this is the hardest part. The waiting. In the old, pre-digital, days, writers had to have oodles of patience. Sometimes they'd have to wait months or years just to hear back from a publisher or literary agent. Today, if you decide to go the traditional print publishing route, you still have to face all that waiting. But there is another option, and that's digitally self publishing your work. Still, you have to have patience. Once you've written your book, edited it and uploaded to online sites, and done tons of marketing, you still have to wait. Readers aren't going to just come rolling in by the hundreds. It takes time. You're going to have to keep marketing, blogging, writing more, doing whatever it takes each and every day to make sure potential readers know about your work. And guess what, eventually people will start to notice. It might take a few months, maybe even a year or so, but if you have quality material, readers will eventually take note and your sales will start coming through.

Quantity

Yes, you want quality. That's most important, and it should come first. But you also want quantity. What does this mean? Basically, the more books or short stories you have online making money for you, the better chance you have of being able to make a living as a fiction author. How many e-books will it take for you to making a living writing? Who knows? It all depends upon how large an audience will come flocking to read your books. For some lucky authors, one or two books will bring in enough readers and money, but for most authors it's going to take several books. So, again, remember to be patient and to keep working at it.


Related links
New for epic fantasy fans, The Kobalos Trilogy
There's nothing wrong with writing for money
Logical Misanthropy, horror and fantasy author's blog

10 Writing Lessons From Spaghetti Westerns

"In this world there's two types of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig." - Blondie (Clint Eastwood) in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
What could this quote possibly have to do with writing? A lot. A whole lot. If you are a writer, you have to be willing to be the type of person who digs. You have to be the type of person who gets things done. Procrastination is your enemy. If you are trying to be a writer, yet you can't find yourself completing a task, perhaps you should look for another line of work. Writing is about accomplishing. If you can never complete a project, an article or short story or novel or whatever, you're not a professional writer. You're a hobbyist, at best. And the people with loaded guns? Those are your editors and publishers, and often the readers, too, who want and need you to get down in the dirt and dig, dig, dig.

"Two hundred thousand dollars is a lot of money. We're gonna have to earn it." - Blondie (Clint Eastwood) in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
For most people, two hundred thousand dollars actually is quite a bit of money. But regardless of the actual dollar amount, if you are trying to be a professional writer, sooner or later you're going to have to write for money. Some people balk at that. Some seem to think any artist who is doing their craft for money is a sell-out. That's not true. Any artist doing their craft for money is a professional. And that money has to be earned.

"People with ropes around their necks don't always hang." - Angel Eyes (Lee Van Cleef), in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Fiction writers need to keep readers on a hook, to keep them hanging, at least until the end of a tale. This is done through building suspense, regardless of the genre of tale, through doling out certain amounts of information, usually about plot or character, but not too much information.

"The question isn't indiscreet, but the answer could be." - Colonel Mortimer (Lee Van Cleef), in For a Few Dollars More
This is related to the hanging quote above. The writer doesn't want to alienate readers by cheating them, by leaving out obvious, important facts early in a tale, but can keep the reader's interest high by revealing just a little, then a little more, and a little more, and so on until the story is complete and the reader knows all the information. Just remember, don't cheat the reader.

"Every gun makes its own tune." - Blondie (Clint Eastwood) in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Every writer is different. If you read Tolstoy's War and Peace backwards and forwards for years, possibly even had it memorized, then sat down to write your own version of the tale, your version would be unique. There's a saying that there are only so many plots. That might be true, but no one has seen a plot through your eyes and through your writing style until you've got it out there for others to see. Early on in your writing, don't worry so much about being original. When you're a beginner, you need to focus on getting things done. Later on, after you've some experience, then is the time to truly focus on your own voice. Just remember, each writer is different.

"When a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with the pistol will be a dead man." - Ramon Rojo (Gian Maria Volonte), in A Fistful of Dollars
Actually, despite how the story played out in the movie, this quote is generally true. You don't bring a handgun to a rifle match, because the guy with the handgun will be outgunned. The guy with the rifle will have better range, quite often will have more ammunition immediately available, and usually will have a more powerful weapon. Of course, there are always exceptions, but not often. What does any of this have to do with fiction writing? Know your stuff. If you're writing about weapons, whether modern or historic or firearms or blades, make sure you know what you're talking about. You don't have to be an expert marksman or sword fighter, but you should at least know enough about weapons so your readers (many of whom will know about weapons) won't laugh at you. Because those readers might not be back for your next story or book, and they won't be shy about telling their other reader friends about how much of a doofus you are. And even if you don't write about weapons, you're going to be writing about something. So, to repeat, know your stuff,


"After a meal, there's nothing like a good cigar." - Blondie (Clint Eastwood) in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Actually, I find this one quite true. I love a good cheroot after a meal. But I digress. This quote relates to writing in this manner: After the climax of your story has come to fruition, that doesn't mean the entire tale has come to an end. Hopefully your climax lead to the main resolution of the story, but there still might be some lesser things needing said, or at least worth being said. Maybe it's a short examination of the resolution's effect about a character. Whatever it may be, this denouement helps to tie up any lose ends for the story and the characters. A denouement is not always necessary, but quite often it is. One key to a solid denouement is to keep it short; readers have already got the gist of the tale, and they're ready to wrap things up. And don't cheat the readers by leaving something out.

"When two hunters go after the same prey, they usually end up shooting each other in the back." - Colonel Mortimer (Lee Van Cleef), in For a Few Dollars More
This one basically means, "don't worry about what other writers are doing." Or, don't worry so much about following trends. Sure, vampire novels are really hot right now, but they might not be in a year or two. Another example would be young adult novels; those are popular right now, but will they be in six months? Maybe, maybe not. But you as a writer shouldn't worry about that, about trying to follow what's hot. Why? Because if you do so, you're likely to miss whatever window of popularity is still available for such literature. Unless you are an extremely fast writer and can have a novel done in a couple of weeks (which isn't impossible), then it's going to take you a while to write that novel. By the time the editing is finished and you've gone through a publisher or self-published, trends will likely have changed. That young adult vampire novel you wrote will possibly be considered trite or hackneyed by the time you can get it out to readers. That doesn't mean you shouldn't write such a novel, if that's what you feel inclined to do, but that you should write what you feel impelled to write, whatever it may be.

"Sometimes the dead can be more useful than the living." - Joe (Clint Eastwood), in A Fistful of Dollars
Learn from the classical masters of literature. Sure, their writing styles are outdated and will seem boring to many modern readers, but they can still teach a lot about plotting and characterization. Literary masterpieces are often also quite strong at helping to teach writers how to emotional involve readers, which is always important. You want those readers to like your writing, right? Then make them become emotionally involved with your characters, and those readers will love you and will be back for your next book or story.

"When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk." - Tuco (Eli Wallach), in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Talking about writing isn't writing. Reading isn't writing. Only writing is writing. If you want to be a professional writer, you have to write. Don't forget that. Getting the writing done is half the job. The rest is editing and promotions and all kinds of other stuff. But remember, you have to have the writing part done before you can move ahead with the rest.

Money should flow to the writer, but always?

Among fiction writers there is an old saying that "money should always flow to the writer." Basically, this means fiction writers should be paid by publishers, and should not pay their own money to be published.

It's become a cliche.

However, most times it is true.

That old saying is basically an attack against vanity publishing, in which a publisher charges the writer to be published. By many fiction writers, this is considered a scam, and they're not necessarily wrong. If a writer is paying to be published, the publisher is making their money from writers, not from the readers, and that's not really publishing, at least not traditional publishing.

Until recently, most self-publishing ventures were some form or other of vanity publishing, and have long been looked down upon by more traditional writers and publishers.

But technology has changed much in the book publishing world in the last few years. Digital books are exploding, becoming more and more popular by the day. With digital publishing of e-books, writers can now publish their own works online at sites such as Smashwords or for e-reader devices such as the Kindle by Amazon without having to lay down any cash because these companies make their money through percentages of sales of the writers' e-books.


The writer doesn't have to shell out any money, the companies distributing the e-books make money, and everyone's happy. Right?

No, not really. Technically, this new wave of digital publishing is still self publishing, though it's no longer vanity publishing because the writer doesn't have to pay to be published. Unfortunately, self publishing raises the hackles of a lot of people, many of them working within the traditional print publishing field.

But not everyone. Some writers and even editors and publishers are joining in this wave of digital publishing.

The arguments on blogs, boards and forums become quite heated at times, but the truth of the matter is that the technology is here to stay. Currently there is nothing to stop a writer from digitally self-publishing their own work, despite a number of people frowning upon it.

It's also generally looked down upon for writers to spend any of their own money to promote their own work. The publisher is traditionally supposed to take care of that.

But does that thinking hold with today's technology?

Not entirely.

Yes, money should flow to the writer, and yes, writers should not pay to be published.

But guess what? Once a writer begins publishing their own works, they are no longer just a writer. They are also a publisher.

Which means, maybe there's nothing wrong with a writer spending his or her own money for promotions, marketing, etc.

Please don't get me wrong. I don't believe writers should go out and spend tons of money to get published or to purchase advertising or anything like that. But I also feel writers shouldn't limit themselves because of some stigma of spending their own money to promote their business.

Because a self-published writer is indeed endeavoring upon a business. In the U.S., if you make more than $600 a year from your writing, that's a business. If you make less than $600, that's a hobby.

One secret successful writers have learned is that the writing is the easy part (and often the most fun part). It's the promotions that's the real hard work. Promoting one's own writing, especially in an appropriate manner that is not spamming potential readers, takes a lot of time and effort. In fact, it can take more time to promote a book than it can to write the book!

Again, I'm not advocating writers spending a bunch of money. But I am suggesting writers consider doing some research into promotions, then possibly spending wisely. Remember another old saying, "if it's too good to be true, it probably is." So beware of all the scams trying to take your money, because plenty of them are out there.

Related links
New for epic fantasy fans, The Kobalos Trilogy
Writing for a Living, a blog for online writers
Logical Misanthropy, horror and fantasy author's blog